This is the other side of the rule I couldn’t wait to share. Again, the coordinator said, “compare apples to apples and not apples to watermelons.” There were instances where we had two or three different projects on the same historical topic. The considerations were, to ensure only one of such historical projects is selected provided they are in the same category. And to do this selection, the first rule remains, ‘ treat each project individually and judge against the rubric.’ In such instances, the challenge was to assess the individual unique contents of the projects in question to select the most outstanding project while ensuring fairness and consistency.
Comparison should not stem from a place of contrast or arbitrary standards.
This rule emphasizes the importance of assessing based on an objective criteria rather than subjective comparisons. Just as you can’t compare watermelons to apples, you can’t compare projects against each other without considering their individual merits.
Why should you read this? Comparison should not stem from a place of contrast or arbitrary standards. Instead, comparison becomes meaningful when grounded in a shared context and measured against a common benchmark—the rubric. This is where true excellence is defined and recognized.
Moreover, being in the same category as others should not breed a sense of personal competition against them. Rather, it should inspire you to pursue excellence within your own sphere. When you concentrate on becoming the best version of yourself and meeting the standards set before you in whatever endeavor you find yourself, you naturally elevate the quality of your work, your talent, your skills, and altogether personality, and contribute to a competitive environment based on merit.
We are often quick to compare ourselves to colleagues who may seem to be performing better or whose efforts are consistently being recognized. In situations where you are vying for a specific job role, not being selected can dent your confidence, especially when you perceive others as better candidates.
I vividly recall an experience from 2021 when Dillys Sillah, Amazon’s Best Selling Author (2020) of the book, “Not This Widow,” contacted me to host her book launch in Ghana. The event would see the attendance of 40 established men and women, including the British High Commissioner to Ghana and the Deputy Head of Missions, European Union and the Dept. Delegation of the European Union to Ghana at the time. It was my first time hosting such an event, though I had been performing similar roles through the years, and the nerves and anxiety were palpable. After dedicating days to prepare with my trusted coach, I felt ready to take on the task.
However, upon arriving at the event grounds, I was greeted by renowned newscasters and media personalities whom I admired. In that moment, my anxieties resurfaced as I found myself doubting my own abilities and revering theirs over mine. I questioned why I had been chosen to host such a prestigious event when there were seemingly more qualified individuals present. Your guess is as good as mine. By the end of the day, the youngest person in the room left a lasting impression on all attendees. The author reached out on multiple occasions to inform me that her guests were inquiring about me. Perhaps what the event needed was a fresh and bubbly energy, and there I was, comparing myself to others.
Sometimes, you may not know all the details or requirements and that is okay! Sometimes, all you are and all you bring is the demand, the standard! If you would focus on pursuing excellence and being better at what you do, you’d not have to worry your head over who is better compared to who.
Navigating comparison can be challenging, but there are several strategies that can help lessen its negative effects and promote a healthier mindset:
- Focus on personal growth: Instead of comparing yourself to others, focus on your own progress and development. Set personal goals and strive to improve yourself over time, regardless of what others are doing.
- Practice gratitude: Cultivate a sense of gratitude for what you have accomplished and the unique qualities that make you who you are. Reflecting on your own strengths and blessings can help shift your focus away from comparing yourself to others.
- Limit social media exposure: Social media platforms often heightens feelings of comparison and inadequacy. Consider limiting your time on social media or curating your feed to include content that uplifts and inspires you rather than fosters comparison.
- Celebrate others’ successes: Instead of feeling envious or threatened by others’ achievements, celebrate their success and use it as motivation to set and pursue your own goals. Adopting a mindset of abundance rather than scarcity can help alleviate feelings of comparison.
- Practice self-compassion: Be kind to yourself and recognize that everyone has their own journey and struggles. Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would extend to a friend facing similar challenges.
- Focus on intrinsic motivation: Instead of seeking validation or approval from external sources, cultivate intrinsic motivation by pursuing activities and goals that align with your values and bring you joy and fulfillment.
- Surround yourself with supportive people: Surround yourself with friends, family, and mentors who uplift and encourage you rather than fueling feelings of comparison or competition.
Next time you catch yourself comparing yourself to others, remember these lessons or be reminded of them:
Focus on your own unique abilities and contributions.
Embrace challenges with confidence and enthusiasm.
Recognize that each individual brings something valuable to the table.
Comparison can be a tempting trap, but by staying true to ourselves and our strengths, we can rise above it and thrive in any situation.
How do you navigate comparison, and which of these points will you share with a friend who is struggling to do the same?
